my sister decided to choose Princeton. it came down to MIT and Princeton, and she chose Princeton because she let her 'head decide over her heart.' while i think this is a good choice for her, it's amazing just talking to her how her attitude is very strict and uptight. what she wants to do for next month is take several AP tests, that won't even really matter for the future, and start working in a lab under a professor - before she even starts her first class. i told her to have fun and just relax, because it's her senior year of high school and the summer before is really your last free summer. she told me "i need to be productive and i can't just sit and waste time like that."
i told her to come visit me, and she said "no, i can't waste time or money like that."
so i replied, "visiting your brother is wasting time and money? thanks"
she said in a monotone voice (meaning she doesn't want to talk to me anymore), "it is."
then i told her to just relax and have fun, she told me "i can't. i'm not like you."
i'm not sure how to take it, but knowing that she doesn't respect me very much... yeah, i still can't decide. but i have to respect her for her work ethic, but i will never worry about her having a secure life, even if she doesn't get a 4.0 from Princeton (which will likely NOT be the case). i guess i'm glad she isn't like me, because if she was, our family would be in deep deep trouble. she's probably glad she isn't like me too.
i guess what i want the most is for my sister to respect me as much as i respect her. i always joke on how she is the older one and i the younger one, because i always want to hang out and play with her while she always tells me to just go away or leave her alone (by the way, she's 4 years younger than me and still in high school while i'm a college grad). whenever i'm home and watching tv, i run up the stairs to our study and yell "celene! celene! cartoons are on!" she doesn't even turn her head, and replies "that's nice. so what." i turn around, hanging my head, and tumble back down the stairs into the family room... or the living room... whichever room has the tv in it, i always forget.
so this is my relationship with my sister.

i decided to respond on several other guestbook entries today.

************
Guest's Name: mel
Guest's Home Page: Don't Have One
Date Signed: Fri Jul 13 13:58:41 2001
Referred By:

dude,time to update. hi! haha.
**************

mellanie has contributed to my guestbook collection several times reminding me to write more. she's definitely been a huge factor and encouragement to crank out more of my stupid self onto the world wide web. it's very... i can't think of the right word, but "humbling" would do... that she reads my thoughts. if she ever reads this, she's probably saying outloud "laaaame."


*************
Guest's Name: young
Guest's Home Page: mine
Date Signed: Wed Jul 25 01:52:09 2001
Referred By: curiousity

yo andy. this stinkas. i wrote this whole thing and your site said it was too long!!!!! i pressed back and it was all gone. neeways, in a nutshell: i read your long-ass essay. i can relate. it was interesting. you don't look or act korean and your last name is chinese. your welcome. i'm not korean to you right? if i am, you stinka. i still like candy, andy. lates.
***************
by far, one of the weirest people i know, or will ever know. that's why she is very cool. i wonder if she has a boyfriend yet?

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Guest's Name: julia
Guest's Home Page: Don't Have One
Date Signed: Sat Jul 28 00:31:14 2001
Referred By:

just wanted to say hello! hello! (ok. i did what i came here to do.) haha! talk to you soon! :)
*********************
julia, like mel, is also a frequent guestbook contributor. she leaves eccentric and random messages that describe her personality. she always likes to have contests. if you read the guestbook, you'll know what i mean. her boyfriend likes to refer himself as 'mr. boyfriend.' how korean.


******************
Guest's Name: 275-9288
Guest's Home Page: Don't Have One
Date Signed: Mon Jan 14 20:42:50 2002
what are you thinking right now? blank
what would you like to see more on this page? poems
any advice to give andy? stay away from orcas

Hey Andy, I love your poems, especially "Her"! By the way, ill be the pillar for your house of cards anytime ;)
*****************
that phone number is gay friend david yang's home phone number. okay, he's not really gay, but i think he is. for some reason, he likes my poems a lot. i guess it's a compliment because he's a genius. he's freakin smart. freshman year in high school, we had to think of a new proof of archimedes. you know, a^2 + b^2 = c^2. he did it in like... 10 minutes. and how? did he use paper? no. did he even sit down? no. he stuck his head in the corner of the couch, face down, between the cushions, and in that very awkward position, like a cat sniffing something in your couch, he figured out how to prove a^2 + b^2 = c^2 for triangles. geez.

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Guest's Name: Rob Smith
Guest's Home Page: GUT RUMBLES
Date Signed: Sun Mar 31 20:04:26 2002
what are you thinking right now? YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW
what would you like to see more on this page? NO
any advice to give andy? YES-- SEE BELOW

Andy, I drew your blog for the peer-to-peer review. I hate to be really critical, but YOU SUCK! That's as plain as I can make it. First of all, look on the left side of your keyboard. See that button called SHIFT? It makes capital letters. Honest, it really does! You might want to try that shift key once in a while, you know, just to APPEAR literate. Second, what's the obsession with poo about? Acidman
*****************
a couple months back, i joined a peer to peer review for bloggers. i wanted to improve my writing and wanted to receive some critique of it. i know that my writing DOES suck and that my aspirations for becoming a writer are FAR from anything, but this guy... Rob Smith aka Acidman... probably the most honest review i have ever received at the same time crush any hope. but i need more of this. i just wish he commented on the content rather than the caps. i don't like using the shift key because it was inpsired by e.e.cummings and also by this guy back in Phillips Academy, Andover who never used capital letters. what's funny is he signs his name "rob smith" then ends it with "acidman." i guess he felt bad so this is what he wrote afterwards:

*************
Guest's Name: Rob Smith
Guest's Home Page: GUT RUMBLES
Date Signed: Tue Apr 2 20:57:45 2002
what are you thinking right now? TIME TO GO TO BED
what would you like to see more on this page? ??? MORE CAPS, LESS POO
any advice to give andy? CHECK MY SITE. I USE CAPS

Andy, Hope I wasn't too harsh on you the other night. Being a writer means having tough skin, so I hope you accept my criticism gracefully. If, not, feel free to firebomb my home. I live by myself, so you don't need to worry about collateral damage. Any blogger is a good blogger, but you could do better. Acidman
***********

this guy does seem pretty cool, if i must say so myself. my guess is that he's from the east coast. but the comment on firebombing and not worrying about collateral damage - that was pretty funny. i read his blog, and i must admit, not only does he use the shift key, but he does write well also. maybe an inspiration to me?

**************
Guest's Name: Martin Kang
Guest's Home Page: hmm.
Date Signed: Sun Apr 28 04:07:56 2002
what are you thinking right now? hmm. what's the point of putting my webpage name... am i ju
what would you like to see more on this page? more pictures! haha.
any advice to give andy? keep writing!

how cool. i like your thoughts a lot. I wish i could write you like you... but... i don't like Mr. Rob Smith's thoughts on your page. have you seen his page? hmmm rather uninteresting thoughts.. seem rather ignorant to me. haha. i'm stupid.
**************
wow, i was mentioned on martin's page. this guy... this guy has one crazy website and i visit it all the time. there's cnn.com, espn.com, and martinkang.com. he has a very real personality, and never shallow. when you're with martin, it's like swimming in the middle of the pacific. it's very deep and you have no idea where you are. for example, just take what he said on the guestbook.
1)"hmmm rather uninteresting thoughts.. seem rather ignorant to me" - a perfectly valid comment.
2) "haha" - another perfectly valid comment.
3) "i'm stupid" - yet another clear and understandable sentence.

now put these together. "hmmm rather uninteresting thoughts.. seem rather ignorant to me. haha. i'm stupid." there you have classic martin.

****************
Guest's Name: Eric
Guest's Home Page: Eric's site
Date Signed: Sat Apr 27 02:03:21 2002
what are you thinking right now? I just ate some dang good pizza
what would you like to see more on this page? Pictures of Andy and Aileen
any advice to give andy? hang out with me more

Hi Andy, I totally forgot about your guestbook but I'm signing it to show you that I'm devoted to your thoughts. Keep up the prophecy man. Make sure that I'm with a pretty girl in those dreams you keep having. Out
****************
other than martin, eric's is also a really awesome blog i love to frequently visit. he once told me he likes reading blogs that have substance and meaning, rather than the usual "i woke up late today... i missed class... i had good food... i'm tired.... why am i tired.... good nite! ^_^" that you can find at several websites... like... kcpc websites... but in any case, his stories are so interesting and by reading his blogs, you know that his memory is like a computer hard drive. he can tell you all the characters from GI Joe and WWF from 1985.

pj wrote in my guestbook this past weekend commenting that i should post bill simmons' ewing theory. i'm going to post it here so i can remember this forever, but to enjoy the full taste, go to the link.

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/010509.html

Ewing Theory 101
By Bill Simmons
Special to Page 2




You're probably tired of reading those "Where did these guys come from?" stories about the Seattle Mariners, who valiantly clawed their way to baseball's best record earlier this season, despite losing Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez over the past three years.

For most baseball fans, Seattle's spring surge was more inexplicable than Colby voting off Keith over Tina on "Survivor" last week. How can a franchise prosper after losing three of the biggest stars in baseball? How does this make sense?

I have a three-word explanation for you: "The Ewing Theory."

It's bigger than the "SI Jinx." It makes the "Curse of the Bambino" look like child's play. It's creepier than the "Curse of the 'Spinal Tap' Drummers" and the "Curse on the Careers of Everyone Who Leaves 'NYPD Blue' " combined. Quite simply, it's the most life-altering sports phenomenon of this lifetime.

Here's everything you need to know about the Ewing Theory, in the form of a Q & A:

What's the Ewing Theory? Where did it come from?
The theory was created in the mid-'90s by Dave Cirilli, a friend of mine who was convinced that Patrick Ewing's teams (both at Georgetown and with New York) inexplicably played better when Ewing was either injured or missing extended stretches because of foul trouble.

Curious to see if this phenomenon applied to other stars/teams, Dave noticed people were pencilling in the '94-'95 UConn Huskies for a .500 season because "superstar" Donyell Marshall had departed for the NBA. Dave knew better; a lifelong UConn fan, he thought the Huskies relied too much on Marshall the previous season and could survive without him. Like Ali predicting the first Liston knockout, Dave told friends the Huskies would thrive in Marshall's absence -- and that's exactly what happened. By midseason, UConn was ranked No. 1 in the country for the first time in school history; the Ewing Theory had been hatched.

Dave introduced me to the Ewing Theory three years ago, and we've been tinkering with it like Voltaire and Thoreau ever since. Eventually, we decided that two crucial elements needed to be in place for any situation to qualify for "Ewing" status:

A star athlete receives an inordinate amount of media attention and fan interest, and yet his teams never win anything substantial with him (other than maybe some early-round playoff series).

That same athlete leaves his team (either by injury, trade, graduation, free agency or retirement) -- and both the media and fans immediately write off the team for the following season.

When those elements collide, you have the Ewing Theory.

What's the best example of the Ewing Theory?

That's easy. During the '99 NBA Playoffs, Ewing tore an Achilles tendon during the second game of the Eastern finals against Indiana. With Ewing finished for the playoffs and nobody else on the Knicks who could handle Rik Smits, the series seemed like a foregone conclusion. As an added bonus, since Ewing himself was involved, that made this the ultimate test of the Ewing Theory; in fact, I e-mailed Dave that week to say, "This is the greatest test yet."

Dave's return e-mail oozed with confidence, as he told me in no uncertain terms, "Ewing's injury is the best thing that ever could have happened to the Knicks -- they're definitely making the Finals now."

So what happened? The Knicks won three of the next four and advanced to the NBA Finals for only the second time in 26 years. Had Jeff Van Gundy's crew shocked the Spurs in the Finals without Ewing, Dave might have his own line of "How-To" videos out right now (a Knicks upset was simply too tall of a task against Duncan and Robinson, Ewing Theory or no Ewing Theory).

What are other examples of the Ewing Theory in action?
Some classics from the past three years, in no particular order:

1. Utah Utes, 1998: Keith Van Horn's ballyhooed college career ends without Utah ever making a Final Four. Nine months later, the Utes shock everyone by making the NCAA title game.

2. Tennessee Volunteers, 1998: Even more ballyhooed than Van Horn during his college career, Peyton Manning leaves UT without either winning a national title or beating Florida -- and the Vols win the national title nine months later.

3. Seattle Mariners, 2000: After allegedly "giving up on the season" by dealing their marquee player (Junior Griffey) eight months after dealing their marquee pitcher (the Big Unit), the Mariners cruise to an AL wild-card berth and shock the White Sox in the first round.

4. Boston Red Sox, 1999: After Mo Vaughn signs with the Angels for $80 million, nobody believes that the Sox have enough hitting to finish above .500. Wrong. They roll off 94 victories, capture the wild-card berth and win their first playoff series in 13 years (beating Cleveland in five games).

5. Miami Dolphins, 2000: Dan Marino retires and everyone prepares for a rebuilding year in Miami; the Fins end up advancing to the second round of the playoffs with Jay Fiedler. Jay Fiedler!

6. Philadelphia Flyers, 2000: After losing superstar Eric Lindros to a serious concussion in mid-March, the Flyers hold on for first place in the conference and defeat Buffalo and Pittsburgh in the playoffs. In the conference semis, the Flyers take a 3-1 lead when rumors swirl about a Lindros return. Stunned, the Flyers drop Game 5 at home, as Dave and I send frantic e-mails back and forth. Lindros finally returns in Game 6, and the Flyers squander that one, too; now people are blaming Lindros for killing Philly's momentum. In the climactic Game 7, the Flyers get expunged as Lindros gets knocked out with another concussion midway through the game. Season over.

7. Boston Red Sox & Seattle Mariners, 2001 (ongoing): Written off after Nomar Garciaparra's wrist injury and Alex Rodriguez's departure, both teams cruise to the top of their respective divisions during the first five weeks of the season.

8. University of Kentucky, 1998: One year after the departures of Rick Pitino, Derek Anderson and Ron Mercer, the Wildcats never miss a beat with new coach Tubby Smith and went on to beat Utah to win another NCAA title.

9. St. Louis Rams, 1999: Starting QB Trent Green tears an ACL during the preseason. Given up for dead, the Rams rally behind former Arena League football star Kurt Warner and win the Super Bowl, which might be the most unbelievable thing that ever happened..

10. Detroit Lions, 1999: Stunned by Barry Sanders' retirement in August, everyone gives up on the Lions for the '99 season. The Lions respond by sneaking into the NFC playoffs.

What are some famous examples from the last few decades?
In no particular order:

1. The LA Lakers, 1972: NBA legend Elgin Baylor retires before the season without ever playing for a championship Lakers team. Of course, the '71-72 Lakers end up running off a record 33-game winning streak en route to their first-ever NBA title in L.A. Seriously, you couldn't make this stuff up.

2. Virginia Cavaliers, 1984: Three-time Naismith Award winner Ralph Sampson graduates without ever leading Virginia to a national championship. Amazingly, the Cavs regroup the following season behind Othell Wilson and Rick Carlisle, going just as far as Sampson ever took them by sneaking into the Final Four. A Hall of Fame Ewing Theory example

3. N.Y. Yankees, 1996: Yankees icon Don Mattingly retires without ever playing in a World Series game. The Yanks replace him with Tino Martinez and immediately roll off four of the next five World Series titles, as Mattingly joins a weekly support group with Buck Showalter.

4. Cleveland Indians, 1997: Superstar slugger Albert Belle signs with the White Sox as a free agent. Eschewed as a threat to win the World Series without Belle, the Indians respond by making it all the way to the seventh game of the '97 World Series.

5. World Wrestling Federation, 1997: Then-WWF champ Bret "Hitman" Hart signs a contract with Ted Turner's WCW federation (No. 1 in the TV ratings battle at the time). Aided by publicity from a real-life, backstage fight between Hart and WWF owner Vince McMahon after Hart's final match, the WWF rebounds in the Post-Hart Era and regains its No. 1 status within a year. Ironically, Hart's departure is considered the crucial turning point, because it gave birth to McMahon's new "bad guy" status and paved the way for the WWF to promote fresh stars like "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels. Even in fake sports, the Ewing Theory is indomitable.

Currently, who are some possible Ewing Theory candidates?


All right, I'll bite. Remember, we're targeting stars on teams that haven't won anything, as well as teams that would probably be written off without the stars we're about to mention:

Drew Bledsoe: Every Patriots fan is nodding right now.

Michael Vick: Textbook case. Everybody's already writing off Virginia Tech for next season, despite the fact that they never won anything with Vick. They might post a 12-0 next season.

Chris Webber: Don't laugh. What happens if C-Webb leaves the Kings this summer, and they use the extra cap space to sign two second-tier free agents?

Vince Carter: Watch the Raptors in two years, after Vince joins MJ in DC (and you know it's happening).

Griffey: The baseball version of Ewing.

Kobe Bryant: After they split him up from Shaq and he gets his own team.

Pete Sampras: This one makes sense, if you think about it. Taking Sampras out of the men's tennis equation could make Wimbledon more interesting and allow younger, more charismatic players to rise to the forefront.

Barry Bonds: It's unfair, but he fits the formula.

Manning: You can feel the "Manning goes down and the Colts rally behind James & Harrison" moment coming in the next few years, can't you?

Can the Ewing Theory apply to romance?
You betcha. Everyone has one friend who got dumped by their girlfriend/boyfriend, sending them into a tailspin. You worried about them and their well-being, you logged major phone time with them, you wondered if they would ever bounce back... and then, boom! Your friend started working out, dropping 15 pounds and suddenly looking better than ever. They also started going out three times a week, rekindling all their old friendships; within time, they had completely regained their mojo. And inevitably, when they finally started dating again, their new flame put the old one to shame. That's the Ewing Theory in a nutshell.

Can the Ewing Theory be applied to the entertainment world?
That's a little bit tougher, because people don't write off bands, TV shows and movies the same way we write off sports teams. With that said, there have been a number of Ewing Theory moments when an impending loss seemed devastating and ended up becoming a blessing in disguise. For instance:

1. "Beverly Hills 90210," 1994: After petulant star Shannen Doherty leaves the show, the producers import Tiffani Amber-Theissen as the resident vixen during the watershed "Dylan's drinking again" season -- maybe the greatest upgrade in TV history.

2. Van Halen, 1986: After David Lee Roth's sudden departure, everyone writes off the band when cheesy '80s singer Sammy Hagar is brought aboard. They end up releasing two successful albums ("5150" and "0U812") and not totally embarrassing themselves.

3. "Cheers," 1986: Shelley Long leaves the series to pursue a film career, the producers replace her with Kirstie Alley and the show eventually reaches No. 1.

4. "NYPD Blue," 1995: David Caruso leaves the show in the second season, presumably to star in movies with Shelley Long. The producers replace him with Jimmy Smits, revolve the show around Smits and Dennis Franz, and ratings actually improve.

5. The Corleones, late-40's: After Sonny's tragic death and the near-assassination of Don Vito, the family's youngest son (Michael) emerges from exile in Italy and turns the Corleone family around, defying heavy odds and the skepticism of just about everyone (even his brother, Fredo).

(One TV classic that was immune to the powers of the Ewing Theory: "Three's Company." They never adequately replaced the Ropers or Crissy Snow. But that's a story for another time ...)

Who were the prime "Shoulda-Been" candidates who somehow escaped the Ewing Theory's wrath over the years?
We'll make this list as cryptic as possible; you figure it out: Mike Schmidt; Walter Payton; Roy Hobbs; Wilt Chamberlain; Robin Quivers; Phil Esposito; Roger Clemens; Henry Kissinger; Bob Cousy; Julius Erving (with the Sixers); George Clooney; Dick Butkus; Cosmo Kramer; Ted Williams; Bo and Luke Duke; Dirk Diggler; Ernie Banks; John F. Kennedy; Andre the Giant; Greg Maddux; Warren Coolidge; Ray Bourque; Frank Deford; Paul Shaffer.

Finally, what would be the greatest triumph for the Ewing Theory?
The Mariners somehow winning the 2001 World Series -- nothing would top that one on the Ewing Scale.

One last note: if you believe in omens, remember that A-Rod, Junior and the Big Unit might have all departed from Seattle over the past three years, but another marquee athlete was traded to Seattle last fall. His name? Patrick Ewing.

Hmmmmmm ...

i just wrote a really long paper on why i am so attracted to kirsten dunst, but decided that it's just too freaky for the public to know... or even myself. thus, after being inspired by bill simmons' column, i decided to reply to my guestbook entries that people have written me. i have 54 entries, 65% of which belong to none other than pj.


********
Guest's Name: Peter Choi
Date Signed: Wed May 2 04:55:22 2001
Referred By:

Hey Andy. I guess I'm the first one. Just wanted to show some love. Work your magic on this forsaken site. Then lots of people will come. If you build it they will come...
*********

thanks pj. you are the first one to sign my book, the first one IN my book, and the first one to be in every ladies' blackbook. you are the lovaire extraordinaire.


*********
Guest's Name: Kenneth
Date Signed: Fri May 4 04:35:20 2001
Referred By: Dandy

Andy, Andy, my eye candy!
**********

right. i'm not exactly sure how to comment on this entry except saying that i am eye-candy to a former employee(i was his senior consultant), former same-church-goer, and former male. just kidding on that last male comment.


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Guest's Name: tiffers
Guest's Home Page: Tif's hole in the web
Date Signed: Mon May 7 20:50:07 2001
Referred By:

Come on baby, light my fire....Thanks for all of your help this semester with the computer stuff. You know what I'm talking about. Dude, it's been fun knowing you. Love your site. Take care.
**********
another geek-fanatic, but thankfully by a female.


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Guest's Name: Billy Ku
Guest's Home Page: Don't Have One
Date Signed: Tue May 8 20:27:47 2001
Referred By: Martin Kang

sup Andy, not steve. was just checking out martin's links and saw ur website and checked out ur thoughts. wow, what a day, and what a dream. mustve been a pretty emotional thing. but wow, that is pretty bold of u to put ur thoughts up on that stuff onto ur website. hope that u find someone to share ur thoughts w/, u can always find a brother or sister to talk to around here. anyway, i'll say a lil prayer for u, laters -b ku
**********
i completely forgot about that entry, but now that i remember it, i must say that this was one of those guestbook entries that actually affect your feelings and certainly touching. not like the kenneth or tiffany touching, but emotional-inside touching. that was a very bold thing to write in a guestbook of all places. thanks billy, who probably no longer reads this page. also, i have said in the past that this blog/thoughts page would be stricty for my own purposes and to not please anyone else. but today, i feel that i am going to write to actually address the netsurfers out there. if anyone finds this page corny and tasteless, then this isn't for you. especially GUT RUMBLES.


***********
Guest's Name: Daniel Kim
Guest's Home Page: Don't Have One
Date Signed: Thu May 10 01:15:26 2001
Referred By: Fred Savage

andy, before you leave berkeley... you and i got a little score to settle in------------ SCRABBLE!!!!!! wadeen is a word, by the way. look it up in webster's... you know who loves ya, baby.
***********
this was one of my most favorite and memorable times in college. playing scrabble with a bunch of people (i believe it was jomo, tina, hayeun, janet kang, dan kim, sammy, and myself. i'm forgetting someone... please accept my apologies). although i don't remember everything, here's what i do remmeber:
- sammy and wadeen (dan) trying to fudge their way to the top by creating outrageous words such as "wadeen" for the triple word score. classic.
- hayeun and i getting a seven letter word as the first move, which means double points and double letters. ouch. we were a great team.
- tina and jomo falling asleep on our floor because they were so bad at the game.
you da man dan the man wadeen.


**********
Guest's Name: pretty Jae *^^*
Guest's Home Page: .
Date Signed: Thu May 10 05:04:20 2001
Referred By:

hi Andy~! how come you didn't tell me about your webpage? hehehe.. just came to visit.. like it *^^* well, me goin' to sleep, so me bye bye~!!! love, Jae
**********
classic example of asian cute girl lingo. if she reads this, she WILL be offended. but anyways, note the use of "pretty", *^^*, and the excessive "~".


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Guest's Name: Frank
Guest's Home Page: www.frankypanky.com
Date Signed: Sun May 13 02:40:00 2001
Referred By: yo mama

Dogs love me cause i'm crazy sniffable
*********
no comment.

***********
Guest's Name: Sammy Choo - aka Andy's master
Guest's Home Page: Sammy is Andy's King
Date Signed: Tue May 29 15:07:50 2001
Referred By: yo mama

hello andy, you are my yuj. bow to me. =) ur roomie, sammy
************
ahhh yes, my old roommate/pimp sammy. "yuj" is a slang term for woman in korean. this guy is such a "yuj" beater. one night, i was pretty tired, and when i'm tired - i snore. if i'm really tired, i snore like a train wreck. sharing a room with, my king and pimp and yuj beater, he took a shirt, crumbled it up, and threw it at my face. the next morning, i woke up "dang! why does my eye hurt so much?!" throughout the whole day, my eye hurt and i had no idea why. later on, sammy told me what happened, and what could i do? snore even louder that night, with my head facing the wall. this would create the walls to vibrate, which would then resonate to the opposite side of the room to sammy's bed frame which was ikea-metal. i tried to simulate the effect of sleeping on train tracks when a train is approaching. that sorta vibration. i don't think the plan worked.


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Guest's Name: tommy
Guest's Home Page: Don't Have One
Date Signed: Wed Jun 6 00:51:48 2001
Referred By:

SMALL GROUP!!! hey andy, awesome site and interesting thoughts. the ficb member and alum sites sound good, but who's going to maintain it?... well, as you think about your career and what not while on the east coast, try not to have too much drama, ok? it's a bit scary how often you say that you just had the hardest week in your life... oh, and just like the lakers are going to go back-to-back, it looks like the devils will, too...
************
ahhh.... small group was certainly the best. my boys were classic no-gooders, except for tommy. i've written about them several times, but never enough. along with the drama and the "hardest weeks of my life," i promise one day to share to them first what really happened in my past. but i need to get over it first.

well, i guess i'm done for now. there are several other people who i wanted to comment on, but we'll see how this first one flies. on the list: mel, young, julia, rob smith, private entries (uh oh), and several others.

on another sports note, espn.com conducted a vote on 'which mascot annoys you most' and the winner was stanford's tree (30% while 2nd place was 19.9%... a clear winner/loser).

i have been reading every article that "The Sports Guy" has been publishing on espn.com's page 2, and it has given me even more of an inspiration to become a columnist. i mean, imagine just writing about crap and whatever is fun and getting paid for it. to me, this sounds like the dream job.

recent excerpts from bill simmons' column: (http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/020426.html)

Q: I am a huge NFL fan and a huge gambling fan. The problem is the NFL only runs for five months a year. I don't follow basketball enough to gamble on it, and you can't gamble on baseball and hockey. So what do I do? What's there to gamble on? Am I missing something? Please advise.
-- Ben G, Ann Arbor, Mich.

Sports Guy: You desperately need a trip to the Holy Land (a k a, Vegas). Sounds like you're getting the shakes. Hey, we've all been there -- I haven't been to a casino in four months -- every time I hear the Foxwoods Casino song these days, my right eye starts twitching. But since my mom was a Boston College grad and I've had a gambling problem since the womb, I'm always figuring out ways to bet on things.

For instance, when I headed over to my father's house for the NFL draft Saturday, we needed something to keep our interest until the Patriots finally picked, so we played the Draft Game (works for any draft): When each team went on the clock, we tried to guess their choice. As an added wrinkle, we couldn't pick the same guy -- Dad picked first for No. 1, I picked first for No. 2, and so on -- so we would each be rooting for someone on every pick. Winner takes all: 20 bucks. I'm telling you, it was riveting stuff. Of course, Dad ended up winning, but only because he cheated with Detroit's first-rounder (but that's a story for another time).

Anyway, you can always come up with things to gamble on, especially if you're in college and you have the following scenario: "Multiple people, nothing to do." Here are some other gambling ideas:


1. "Madden 2002"
Cue it up, pick two teams, create a line for the game, pick sides, make a wager ... then have the computer play it out. Strangely absorbing, especially at 3 in the morning. Depending on your state of mind at the time, it can almost feel like a real NFL game. Almost.


2. "The Weakest Link"
Works best if you have a group of people that precisely match the number of contestants -- then everyone gets to pick one person. Let's say they're running a "Celebrity Edition" with disgraced celebs. You draw straws before the show to see who gets first pick ... then during the beginning of the show, when they're introducing everyone, you quickly hold your draft. And the draft could be more entertaining than anything else, just for when you have exchanges like this:


"I'll take Corey Feldman." "Dammit, I was gonna take him!"

Can you put a price on that kind of fun? I think not. Plus, if you have eight people throwing in $20 apiece ... well, you do the math. That adds a whole new level of excitement to the final round, doesn't it?


3. MTV's "Dismissed"
There are two segments during "Dismissed," so before the show starts, you divvy up the contestants; Person A gets the first person introduced in Segment One and the second person introduced in Segment Two; Person B gets the other two people. And you go from there. Just to make sure somebody wins money, you need to stagger this one -- Segment One is worth $50, Segment Two is worth $75 (or whatever you feel like wagering).

Two great things about this idea: First, when the contestants are introduced, it's more fun than humans should be allowed (you end up saying things like, "This is no fair! That's the second time this show that you got the chick with big guns!"). And second, you find yourself debating some of the strategies like you're Hubie Brown ("No! No! You cannot use the Timeout Card that soon! What is she thinking?").


4. Figure skating
Everyone picks a skater, throws in some cash and roots for everyone else's skaters to fall down. Good times.



5. The WWF "Royal Rumble"
I'm convinced they created this just for people with gambling problems. There are 30 entrants, so before the event starts, everyone draws numbers. If you have 10 people in the room, everyone gets three numbers between 1 and 30. If you have five people in the room, everyone gets six wrestlers. And so on. And when the Rumble starts, if you have pick No. 7, you get the seventh wrestler that runs out.

(Note: Not only is it easy to follow, even non-wrestling fans can enjoy this one. I already told this story, but back in college, we had a "Rumble" pool and my buddy JackO drew two scrubs -- like Haku and Tugboat -- and flipped out. Chairs were flying everywhere. All it was missing was Jim Ross screaming, "Good God, JackO has flipped out! My God, somebody stop him! This is insane!")


6. "Survivor" and "The Bachelor"
Any of these "Reality-TV shows that take place over an extended period of time and eventually have a single winner" work splendidly for gambling purposes. It's almost like picking the winner of the NCAA Tournament. You just need someone who can get the names of every contestant, then organize some sort of pool.

I mean, imagine the excitement during "The Bachelor" if you randomly ended up with Trista in the pool, then you found out she was a Miami Heat dancer in the first episode (you're locked in) ... then you worried that she doesn't like Alex the Ambiguously Gay Bachelor (you're locked out) ... then he goes out of his way to win her over (you're locked back in) ... then she confesses to him that she can't have orgasms during intercourse (uh-oh, baggage alert! you're locked out again) ... then it's down to the Final Two between Trista and The Chick With Big Boobs Who Was A Little Too Easy (you're locked back in). What a roller-coaster ride! And you won some money to boot.


7. SportsCenter Anchor "Catch Phrase Roulette"
This works a little like the "Price Is Right" showcase. Let's say you're watching the 2 a.m. "SportsCenter" and you see Steve Berthiaume. Well, you know "Say hello to my little friend!" is coming, you just don't know when. So you each pick a time: You might take 2:22, your buddy might take 2:38. Whoever gets closer wins the bet. Say hello to my little friend!


8. Golden Tee 2002
But hey, you knew this already. If you see an unattended "Golden Tee" at a bar and, within three minutes, you're not A) playing Skins, and B) gambling heavily ... well, we can't be friends. I'm serious. We need to go our separate ways.


9. Bowling, darts, shuffleboard, pool, mini-golf, etc.
Any of the sports from the Pseudo-Sports Decathlon (which still needs to happen) work perfectly for head-to-head gambling purposes. My favorite is probably bowling, which combines all the fun elements of Golden Tee -- the drama, the trash-talking, the skill -- with the added bonus that you get to rent shoes, pick bowling balls, make fun of everyone else in the bowling alley and actually display some (pseudo-)athleticism.

lately, there has been this huge increase of blogs within the kcpc community. although several of them are defunct, and have been for at least the past month or so, the rest of them tend to write about their christian lives and how they are struggling, why god is so great, etc., and i realized that it bothers me. the fact they are able to share and open up their inner struggles is not the part i am bothered by, but the fact that i am not so interested bothers me. i skim through the blog and look for words like "god" or "christ saves" or other terms used to signal a christian testimony, and end up just skipping it. i just don't really want to bother reading it because i think it's boring. i guess i want to read 'the good stuff' and the 'funny blogs.' shouldn't i care more than anything about the well-being of my fellow christians and write to encourage? i should. and i have written to people before telling them to keep their head up or whatever, but of course, i get no replies or any other response of some sort - and get a little discouraged. another reason is, i'm just not that close to them. i don't want to mention names, but i haven't really talked to several people since college. but regardless, it's not an excuse. in any case, i'm not really sure whether or not it's a sin not to read other people's struggles, but i'm sure it's a sin not to care. the other thing i can conclude is that it just exposes our sinfulness and depravity within.

last nite i dreamt i was gambling. i saw a guy lose it all in blackjack... the funny thing was, he had a 45, meaning he had like.... 4 face cards or something like that... AND he bet all his money. interesting. i then played 5 card draw, but for some reason, had 9 cards as did my opponent and roommate, jason. i raised the bet to 50 dollars, and he said okay. i had 4 aces, he had 4 jacks. i won.
the funny thing is, i believe it was the same casino i dreamt about (see 4/8/02), but this time i had money and was winning.

i pick up jen lin and we go out to dinner. we choose Chevy's, where there is a live jazz band playing. all of the members of the band are african-american, except for one small asian male in the back playing bass guitar. i recognize him - it's steve choi, from my old church. he sees me, i see him and we give each other the nod. as i tell jen that i know the bass player, the waiter comes and serves us our chicken and steak fajitas. we slowly lose ourselves in the music and just watch until we are interrupted by the waiter, a mexican man with a high voice and goatee - who we suspect is gay. at the restaurant, i see peter choi and some other people also at the restaurant. the band is done playing and the bill comes. since i haven't seen jen in the longest time, i insist on paying and pull out my credit card. the waiter hastily takes it back, and it's then i realize that i just gave him a credit card that i cancelled years ago. why i am still carrying it, it's still a mystery. i run back to the waiter who is trying to run my mastercard, and tell him i gave him the wrong one. "hmph!" he says and takes my debit card.

we leave the Chevy's and head back to her place. for some reason, it's on trumbull ct, and it looks nothing like the house she lives in now (trumbull court is also where steve yuen lives off of). we go to her place and start talking and she mentions how tired she is, and that she should go to bed because she has to wake up early the next morning. she works at a hospital. peter choi and some other guys are also at her house, and while jen falls asleep in the study, the rest of us are just talking till morning. jen's mother comes down stairs and yells at jen,

"what are you doing?! you didn't go to bed?! you have work in 30 minutes!"
"i was sleeping here!"
"that's not a place to sleep!"

us guys look at each other and know we're in a heap of trouble. jen's mother comes to us in the living room and starts yelling. we get up immediately and leave. as we leave her house and head to our cars, peter needs to go pee and does it on the side of her house.
"what are you doing?!"
"i need to pee."
"we don't pee outside like that in my town! this ain't berkeley..."
"whatever."
he proceeds to do so anyway, finishes up, and we get in our cars and leave. for some reason, i'm carrying large and heavy containers that i throw in the back seat of my subaru outback. it's dawn and the sun has still not risen yet. i pull out of her driveway, also known as trumbull court, and start driving.
i make a right onto the main road where either my car breaks down, or my coworker's car breaks down. somehow, i end up in my coworker paige's car. after driving a few seconds, a cop pulls us over because paige isn't driving straight. he suspects we are either doing drugs or DUI, which neither is the case. the cop, a dark man with a mustache, flashes his flashlight, "so what you guys doing? coke? pot?" his flashlight searches the car, asking us to move our legs and open the glove compartment.
"we're not doing anything officer," i reply, "we're just... fine."
"riiight. what you guys really doing there?"
"nothing. i don't know why we're swerving, but we're completely clean."
after a few moments, the cop decides to just let us go.
"hold on for a sec, i'll be right back."
as he goes back to the car to write something up, a firetruck comes screeching behinds us and crashes on it's side. it slides into the brick walls lining the street and then explodes. the cop is probably dead, but i am not sure. paige runs out of the car to check out the scene while i just sit and watch from the passenger seat. all of a sudden, peter choi, dan choi, and another asian male comes into the car. an old yellow buick, i believe.
"let's go! let's go!"
"i can't! this isn't my car!"
"c'mon, let's just go anyways!"
paige gets into the car again, looks at the guys with a blank stare, then drives. even though we're driving straight, we drive past trumbull court again.

abruptly, i find myself on a track with someone shooting at me. i jump and hide behind a glass window, and the bullets destory the window, but dont' hit me. the metal panes save my life. paige is standing there yelling,
"c'mon! c'mon! let's go!"
the shootings stop and i look at the track. i don't have the energy to run. my legs refuse to.

i find myself back in the car, driving past trumbull court. i receive a call on my cell phone:
"we found the bombs! we found the bombs!!"

i find myself at a staircase with my team of bomb defusing experts. they find c4 planted along the entire staircase to destroy the entire building. the bombs are slowly being defused one-by-one. at the back of my mind, i'm saying "these can go off at any second... but i must try to save lives."
i climb to the top of the stairs where there is a guy and girl team trying to get the last two or three bombs defused. the guy finishes his and moves to the last one while the girl is still trying to defuse hers.
"i got it! i figured out the detonation code! they're going to play martin luther king's "i have a dream" speech over the PDA, and when his pitch goes high enough, the bombs will detonate."
the guy starts saying "i haaaaaaaaaave a dreaaaaam"
the girl chuckles and starts playing along, "i haaaaaave a dreeeeeaaaaaam"
their pitches start climbing, and obviously, the bombs are not completely deactivated.
i scream "what are you doing!?!? these bombs are gonna go off really soon, and you're trying to detonate them!!!!????"
they ignore me. time is ticking, and their pitches go higher. i pull out my shotgun and point it at them.
"AS YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER, I ORDER YOU TO STOP AND DEFUSE THESE BOMBS! ARE YOU CRAZY?!"
we all know that i'm not their superior officer.
"you're not my superior, i don't have to stop. but sheesh, chill out."
they work on it, and as the girl gets the last one, a loud bell goes off. there are white sparks within the bombs, but nothing happens. everyone sighs a breath of relief and cheers. it wasn't the high pitch of the martin luther king speech, it was the high pitch of the bell that was to detonate the c4. the bell is a school bell, and school is over. elementary schoolkids come rushing out of the hallways and into the staircase. why we never evacuated the school, i do not know, but there must have been some legit reason.
i receive a message on the radio, "we found the bomber! we found the bomber! she's hiding in the playground!"

i find myself at the track. i look to my left, and i see the actual track, and wonder what i'm standing on. it's the long jump track. i start to run, but my right leg gives out, and i never make it. i just limp - it's because i forgot how to run and i'm really out of shape.

all of a sudden, i'm at the schoolhouse staircase again. i run down the stairs and look at the playground. i look under the slide/jungle gym/swing set, and see a pair of feet behind it, trying to hide from us. it's the bomber. i radio my location, pull out my gun out, and rush towards the location. as i reach the spot where the bomber is hiding, cops come from all directions and pull out their guns and yell at the top of their lungs "freeze! put your hands up!"
i round the corner and see who all the cops are pointing their guns at. the bomber is the same blonde haired woman who was trying to shoot me earlier. she just smirks. i wake up.

in the asian-american community, there is a huge issue concerning the matter over t-shirts from abercrombie and fitch.

from cnn.com:
"The shirts, which retail for $25, hit the shelves this week and carry caricatures of slant-eyed Asians in conical hats along with such slogans as "WONG BROTHERS LAUNDRY SERVICE: TWO WONGS CAN MAKE IT WHITE" and "WOK-N-BOWL -- CHINESE FOOD AND BOWLING." ... Asian-American groups in California reacted with anger this week after the shirts appeared in local Abercrombie stores, with local activists saying their cartoonish representation of Asian figures carried a racist message."
http://www.cnn.com/2002/BUSINESS/asia/04/19/sanfran.abercrombie.reut/index.html (interesting how this is under the "asia" section of cnn when it's really in san francisco)

there have been protests and boycotts over this issue, calling it "racism."

actually i thought it was pretty clever - and thinking about it, the Chinese did own several laundromats when they first started out in San Francisco and STILL do. if i were marketing my laundromat, that would be a very clever tagline - only if my last name was wong, of course. the drawings show the two Wongs as slanty eyed men wearing the rice-paddy umbrella hats.

i can't decide if this is really racist - stereotyping maybe - but i am not sure about racist. everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and abercrombie did mean well. they marketed these shirts with the intent of appealing to asian americans. however, this was not a wise move. they should have known that this could be considered offensive to some or many, doesn't matter how many really, and never approve the project. abercrombie is based in New Albany, Ohio, and i would really like to see how many asians live there.

i remember interviewing for abercrombie during recruiting. the recruiter was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. i was wearing a full blown black suit and tie. we talked for a total of 6 minutes. the recruiter told me, "well, i saw on your resume that you have a tennis background and wanted to just see... well.. just wanted to meet you." basically, she was judging my looks as an 'abercrombie' type. did not ask a single question about my experience, my future, my education, nada. just wanted to see what i looked like. i know that's illegal, and i know i should be enraged, but i don't really care. they want to carry a jock image in their stores, and i definitely do not look like a jock. i know this because when i interned at nielsen//netratings, i would meet coworkers and they would assume i was in engineering, when i was actually in product marketing. also when i play softball, i'm always benched or rotating with someone else every other inning while everyone else keeps their position every inning. gosh, i'm such a loser. in any case, i'm the last person that should be wearing abercrombie, but oh well. maybe i'll stop because i've been wearing abercrombie the past... oh.... 9 years?

but in all honesty, i do love abercrombie and fitch clothes. right this moment, i am wearing an AF jacket, AF button down shirt, and an AF t-shirt. i've always worn abercrombie, and when i started going to college, people were like "what's abercrombie and fitch?" but since this controversy has triggered some thoughts within me, who knows what i'll do next. maybe i'll start wearing white t-shirts or wife-beaters. with kenneth cole shoes. and get a rice rocket.

april 19th. i am now 5 months away from becoming 23.

so the dreams have been continuing to mess up my head and mornings, and what's even worse, i have been only waking up the past two weeks at either 8:27, 8:37, or 8:47. the past 10 working days. only those times.

i actually remembered last night's dream so i'll tell you what it was:

i forgot my garage door opener to my house, so i had to go through the front door. what i also didn't have were my keys. what's worse was there was a cow and her calf sleeping right in front of the door so i couldn't press the doorbell nor shout to my roommates to let me in. if i woke the calf and cow, they would get mad at me and probably trample me. so i tried to tiptoe over and reach over the cow, and they woke up. they both gave me this look where they were pretty scared. then i turn my head and i see a bull also waking up from his nap, and thinks a person is trying to attack his family. he gets pissed and is getting ready to chase me. i run and climb this spiral staircase to the side of my house (note, this house looks nothing like any house i have ever seen). the spiral staircase is metal with a door that is padlocked, so i couldn't climb all the way up into the house. the bull is just waiting for me to come down, sees that i won't, then goes back to his original place and falls back asleep. i examine the padlocked door and see that if i wanted to, i can crawl around it and enter the house. it is just a door in the middle of a spiral staircase, no walls, just a metal bar door with a padlock.
i think to myself, "should i climb and just go in? no. it's too easy. i'm gonna go in through the front."
why i decided this, i have no idea.
i try to tiptoe past the cow and calf again, but they awaken, again, and the bull chases me up the stairs, again.
i remember thinking to myself, "man, this is too easy if i climb around the door."

and that's the last thing i remember. i'm just sitting on the spiral staircase stuck in a position where i can easily get out of, but choose not to... because it's just too easy.
the story of my life.

i had a dream that my parents bought a car when they didn't have enough money. they bought a hummer for 140,000 dollars, with a monthly payment of 9,000 dollars. it was the sweetest car, and it was for my mom so she doesn't get into anymore accidents. but again, they really didn't have that kind of money to spend, so i was really upset at them making such poor decisions.

to continue with my stereotyping galore:

west-coast-asian guys tend to:
a) wears white t-shirts and mesh shorts whenever they go out in the mornings of weekends.
b) needs to have one of two hair-styles: really long on top while short on the sides and back, OR really short on top but gels the front of his hair up. dying hair is optional.
c) needs to be tough and hard-looking in front of guys, and really soft and giggly in front of girls.
****************************************
for example, a conversation which everyone has had:

me: hey sam!
sam: sup yo. (gives the handshake-converted-into-fingersnap, done simultaneously with "the nod," the deep voice, and "cool frown")
me: how are you doing?
sam: i'm okay, things are cool. done with classes. how about you.
me: i'm doing go-
(girl approaches... asian-cute girl.)
sam: -oh really, thas cool. hey! lisa! wassup!
lisa: hiyee sammy!
sam: what's up? where have you been? where you going?
lisa: nowhere, i've been good. just going to class. hee hee!
sam: yeah? i'm going that way too. let me walk you!
lisa: aww, hee hee! you're so nice!
sam: naw, i'm just protecting my women! you know how i am!

(the two start walking off. sam turns his face from red jolly glee into asian-cool-man-dude. turns around to me.)
sam: hey, see you later man.
me: bye.
*********************
d) thinks rice rockets are cool. likes to make their car look FAST, not GOOD.
here are some good examples:
http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/ricerroni/roni.html
http://www.stuff.to/svtrice.php
my personal favorite: http://www.riceboypage.com/

e) needs to own kenneth cole shoes. for some reason, this is the kicker.



not that i'm saying this only happens to asians, but probably most guys i know that live in california. it's usually different in the east coast - they may dress the same, but for some reason, guys aren't that fake. not all guys in california are like this either. for some reason, people have been writing to me and saying "hey, so-and-so are asian, from california, but she's neither hot or cute!" i hope they understand this is a mild exaggeration, yet highly accurate.

now i know it's not as in-depth as before, but i don't have the energy or the care to write about this any longer. but for all i know, the younger they get, the worse they get. God help us.

continuing of what i wrote about yesterday, the analysis of asian hot and asian cute, what i always wanted to look for was neither.

figure 1.a

cute ------------------------(here)-------------------------------hot

most people would want somewhere in between hot and cute. this is where i look for a girl:

figure 1.b

(here)____________cute --------------------------------------------------------hot
^
(note: all girls do not fall within the spectrum of the asian cute and asian hot)

the reason? somewhere in between means they are still a little like either of them. if anything, i'd rather have them more cute than hot, but still WAY outside the spectrum. i guess i would go for a girl that has appeal, cute (not asian cute, but cute looking), intelligent, but definitely not trying to be anything but herself. definitely not naive either. can't be naive.

a good example of how an asian cute girl acts is when girls can't leave the house without wearing make-up. this "cute" girl i used to date refused to see my sister when she visited from the east coast. why? because she wasn't wearing any make-up and didn't want to take the time to put it on. PLUS, she was wearing sweats. i'm not going to go any further about her "cuteness", because everyone thinks she's "SOOO cute" (acting very naive really), but the truth is, she isn't. she's more evil than anyone will ever know. my future girlfriend would not care if she's wearing sweats or not. i hate it when girls judge each other for wearing plain clothes like sweats, and i've only seen it in california. that is just plain dumb, no pun intended even though it was a really bad one.
this is an actual conversation i've had - many times:

XX: "oh my goodness, look at her. she's wearing sweats. i can't believe she's wearing sweats!"
XY: "so?"
XX: "just look! she just looks so gross?!"
XY: "no she doesn't. she's wearing sweats. she's just not superficial like you."

okay, i didn't say that last sentence outloud, but i sure did say it in my head.

so in conclusion, i would never want to pursue, date, or marry a girl that would be considered the asian hot or cute. furthermore, girls in general are really worth the trouble, unless you're over 30 or 40. they really are not. when you get married, then you can spend the rest of your life, every day and every nite with a girl. there is absolutely no need to spend everyday with a girl that you aren't even sure you are going to be with for the rest of your life. enjoy your guy friends, hang out with them, play xbox, drink a beer, don't ever take your guy friends for granted. if you and your girlfriend were meant to be, then a little time away from each other would not hurt at all. it can only help you.
while i'm on the topic, if you ever break up with your girlfriend, the cure is not "trying to be friends with her." everyone, yet nobody, knows this never works. it's hanging out with the bros. i've learned the hard way, yes i have, but there is nothing i appreciate more than hanging out with my bros.

my next blog, i think i'll write about guys and how stupid they are.

two days ago, i wrote about relationships (ironically the same day pj in my guestbook wrote he wants to hear more about relationships). i wrote about my lunch with eric and how we discussed how we would know who "the one" is, i wrote about my discussion with grace later that day on the difference of who's "hot" and who's "cute" and which one i'd rather be with, and i wrote a little about my relationship with aileen because we had a pretty bad day.

but it got erased when i accidentally closed the window... so oh well. maybe it wasn't meant to be.

actually, i think i'll write about my analysis on girls.

so grace and i were talking about the difference between girls who are 'hot' and girls who are 'cute.' the 'asian cute' or the 'asian hot.' when you go to a church, specifically an asian church, you'll usually find exclusively those two types. there are girls who do fall in between or out of the two highly-generalized categories, but that's at most 7% of the total XX population. they each have their pros and cons, seemingly cancelling each other out.

cute girls must fall into at least 2 of these requirements, not including choice d:
a) under 5'3" (with heels)
b) as a high and breathy voice
c) dress conservative (no thigh high boots, dyed hair, huge earrings, etc.)
d) this is a MUST: seemingly naive.
e) doesn't wear make-up

for example, if a girl is 5'1" and a high voice, she does not HAVE to be considered "cute." maybe "adorable", but not "cute." but if the girl has those two AND naive, then she's considered cute. if she only has d), then she cannot be cute - maybe stupid or ditzy, but not cute. of course there are exceptions to every rule...but not many.

hot girls must fall into at least 2 of these requirements, not including choice d:
a) unnatural alterations to the body (boob job, dyed hair, huge earrings, long nails, makeup)
b) wears tight clothes
c) sex appeal (i.e. curves, dances like a stripper)
d) expects guys to treat them like a princess (i.e. pay for all their meals)

example: a girl is 5'2", high and breathy voice, but has dyed hair, dances like a stripper, and expects guys to treat her like the queen of the universe, she would be considered the asian "hot" rather than "cute." the reason? she's not seemingly naive. as you can see, these are all interchangeable, but as long as the naiveness is there - that's what makes the difference. remember, there are exceptions. a girl can have the unnatural alterations, wear tight clothes, and act like she owns every male in the world - but not be hot nor cute. she's just a witch.

now here's the interesting part: these are girls, let alone asian. so going back to my original philosophy that girls are evil (and guys are stupid), then that would by the transitive property, make even the cute girls evil... hence the usage of "seemingly naive."

confusing, yes i know. let's make it simple. a girl can be a class-a cute girl - but what happens 8/10 times? the girl either acts naive, or is just dumb. honestly, i don't believe that a girl in her 20's and not know the basics of common sense can be considered intelligent. high school, maybe, but not college nor post-grad. i mean, how can a girl that's 23 or 24 STILL not know about starving people in ethiopia?

10 year old girl scenario:
"wow, i can't believe all the kids that need help in ethiopia."
"what's ethopia? why are people still starving?"
verdict: cute.

15 year old girl scenario:
"wow, i can't believe all the kids that need help in ethiopia."
"what's ethopia? there are people still starving?"
verdict: borderline cute/stupid

25 year old girl scenario:
"wow, i can't believe all the kids that need help in ethiopia."
"where's ethiopia again? and people are still starving?"
verdict: just plain dumb. and by first-hand knowledge, they are real. they do exist. note that it's not the first question she asks, but the second.

the flip-side of the cute girls: they know they're naive. this only means this is all a ploy by trying to be naive. nobody can really try to be naive, can they? so externally they may seem cute and naive, but internally, they are all the same evil. they still want the guys to pamper them. they still want the guys take them places. they still want to cheat on their boyfriend. check that, not want, but expect and will. they expect guys to pamper them. they expect guys to take them places. they will cheat on boyfriends or play multiple guys' heart at once. they expect to be right everytime. they will bite. my brothers, they will bite.

i don't think i really need to go further about how asian hot girls can be classified as evil. if you live in california, that can be self-explanatory.
in any case, maybe i'll write more about this later, maybe not. again, there ARE exceptions, and those are the rare jewels that i would want as a girlfriend. the easiest way out of it is to play it safe and just go for a non-asianized, non-californian girl.

dream sequence #2912301201239123-1230-2181-q. (notice how there aren't any numbers between 4 and 7)

last nite i dreamt that my coworker, a different one than before, and some other friends of mine were in a big house. we were all hanging out and having fun - doing random stuff like watching tv or talking or playing guitar. while i was watching tv, there was a special report on the news about 11 people that were killed and a 12th that just narrowly escaped. the 12th person told the police that it was a person with the same exact name as a coworker - and the reason why he was killing these people were for gambling money they owed him. of course, the dude was in the next room and i became totally scared. i tried to act like nothing was wrong and decided to lock him in a room and call the police. right when i was trying to get him, my coworker all of a sudden showed up, saw the tv screen, saw my face, and got very angry. he started fuming and turning red shouting different threats and violent motions. the people in the house started screaming and locking themselves in their own room while he was going around and pounding on other people's doors.

then i woke up.

i got fed up with geocities... you now have to PAY for FTP, the most basic basic basic service of any web hosting. geez.
borrowedhistory.blogspot.com is my new blog space.

last nite, i dreamt i was at circus circus, the casino. i had only 2 five dollar bills on me - with absolutely no money in my checking account - and i put 5 dollars on a blackjack table. aileen happened to be sitting next to me, winning hundreds of dollars. she got a blackjack. when my turn came up, i had an ace and a jack of spades. blackjack. but for some reason, what i decided to do was split it... giving up my other 5 dollars as well. i have no idea why i did it, or even if i'm allowed to do it, but i did it. i had a jack and 7 for my first hand, my second hand i got a 6, making a total of 17. the dealer got a 19 and i lost all the money i had. it was pretty discouraging because i just wasted all of my money on gambling and had no money for food, gas, or anythign else for that matter. i also wanted to play some arcade games and win some toys or stuffed animals - but had no money. so the group i was in - i believe there were three of us - decided to leave. we got in our beat down '80s volkswagon eurovan and drove out. paint was chipping, no seats, black smoke clogging up our lungs.

while we were driving out, i looked out the window and saw this kid coughing up blood on the side of the road. he was wearing a Deltagen t-shirt, the company i work for. we stopped the van so i can help him out... afterall, maybe he was my coworker or related to one. his right arm was entirely covered with one large scab, as if he was hit by napalm, and was not in the best condition.
i asked him, "why don't you go see a doctor? come on, we'll take you to the hospital. that can't be good - and it looks infected."
the boy replied, "no, i can't - my dad won't let me. he said i'll be fine and that since we dont' have health insurance, he doesn't want to pay for it."
i then showed him my arm as well - which had a healed scar all the way down the arm.
"see, i used to have the same condition - but i got anti-biotics and rested and now i'm all better."
"no, you don't understand - my dad won't let me. i'll be fine."
i then got frustrated and demanded to talk to his father. he lead me to their store(which was a small tourist store next to circus circus) and the son called out for his father. his dad, old and short and a mustache, came out and yelled at his son.
"why must you embarrass me like this! you're scaring our business away! get inside! git! git!" he turns to us, chuckles, and says, "hey fellas! how's it going? how about that last super bowl, eh?"
"excuse me sir, but your son really needs to go the hospital. his arm might need to be amputated and he's coughing up blood. he's in a serious condition."

i don't remember much after that. my roommates, being loud as usual, woke me up and i couldn't fall back asleep to finish the dream. in the shower this morning, i just stood there trying to figure things out. not about the dream, but about the dreams i have been getting the past few weeks. every night, i'll dream about something very strange and out there. i've posted some of them here, and others i just tell people. every night i wonder what i'm going to dream about next - and more importantly - why i dream those dreams. i'm a little scared right now to have dreams that are so weird and that i actually remember every night. check that, not a little scared but almost terrified.

my sister has been accepted to Princeton, Rice, MIT, and UPenn today. Princeton gave her a 20000 grant every year, and Rice gave her some money too. i forget how much, but it was substantial. i am so proud of her!!!

it is painfully obvious (yes, i use the word painfully), that my mind is encrypted with an unknown code. my head has become a blender of cocktails, convoluted with so much waste that it literally pours out of my eyes. if i close my eyes, the blender is turned on with all the crap swirling through my head, trapped in with nowhere to go... several thoughts just appear in the dark space mixed together, scene by scene, time by time. what seems like a bad case of ADD is just a bad case of concentration. i just can't focus on one thought or one thing. my eyes must be kept open for me to concentrate... but even then it is a very hard task for me to do.

why is this relevant? what's the point? it's relevant because i have a hard time focusing on prayers. the point is, i'm struggling. at church, at home, anywhere i have to pray with my eyes open to really get a good prayer in. it is certainly ironic because the tradition is you pray with your eyes closed to focus better and not get distracted. if i'm at church and i pray with my eyes closed, i'll always catch myself thinking of something else and not listening. for instance, i'll subconsciously be thinking about how the Jayhawks could have won, or why my jacket smells, or how much gas i have left in my car...as if Satan is inside my mind, steering my thoughts -and heart- away from my time with God. if i'm at home praying - even outloud - i'll end up silent...because i'll either be asleep or catch myself into thinking a random thought. i'm talking and talking and as abrupt as a car accident, yet stealthy like a snake, i'll just stop and start thinking about things. it upsets me, correction, infuriates me that i can be so easily distracted when i am trying to spend time with God. is my heart that weak? are my motives not really there? the solution is the ironic twist: i need to pray more.

wow. my guestbook has some interesting entries from this weekend.

a very good idea for the future:

Moulin Rouge: the Ride OR Moulin Rouge: The Show.

I had a dream last nite that i was riding Moulin Rouge: The Ride. It was very interesting because this was the second time having the dream. I'm a prophet and i don't even know it. this is how it begins:

you enter the arena where there are several two person shuttles, exactly like the ones you seen in the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland. It's like an egg shell that is carved out and split in two. anyways, you enter the ride, and the first thing you see is the introduction music to the Moulin Rouge. the curtains open, and the big scary face of Harold Zidler greet you with "WELLLCOME TO THE MOOUUULIN ROUGE" and you see a whole bunch of dancers - probably robot dancers - do the whole cancan and other splashy dancing that occurred in the time and movie. eventually, the show lingers on with a live Satine, Christian, The Duke of Monroth, doing some dancing and singing among other acts. the whole story plays out, mostly clouded by the dancing and singing, and the ride ends with their ride coming to a table and stopping there. your safety bar comes up, your back rest comes down, and dinner is served - a french cuisine. while you eat there are other performances and singing from the movie that are going on as well. during dinner, there would be the dancers who go around to each table and do a little dance or to tease the couple, etc, and then there would be a grand finale with everyone coming together the ride would be costly - since it is a live show and dinner.

the show would be a very similar idea to the movie - just put it in broadway format. a good cast would include anyone from les miserables.

(this thought has been trademarked by andrew chang... hehe.)\

also, i was quite surprised that ozzy osbourne and kylie minogue were in the film as well. interesting.

things to write about:

-praying with eyes open
-moulin rouge dream