i want to sell my car. my junkie old camry is not exactly a bad car, since it is a v6 XLE with every option possible except the motorized passenger seat (i just recently discovered i even have an amplifier)... but i have come to realize that my lust for materialistic goods and envy for them have just become too much for me. one of my roommates has a BMW M3, my other one a 2001 Accord EX V6 will full options. i commute everyday for about two hours and the only thing on my mind is "wow, i want that car... wow, look at that car... wow, nice car... wow, i wish i had that car..." listening to howard stern doesn't even perk my interest that much anymore (yes, i listen to howard stern. it's not as bad as you think.). all i want is STUFF and CARS. it's become such a blatant sin in my life, i have to stomp it.
people have been asking me why not just keep the car i have now? it's because once you get a nice car (okay, my car isn't THAT nice, but all the options make it nice...) you can't go backward. if you have an M3, your next car really can't be a Corolla. it has to be something nicer or else people will judge you in a bad way... that's how materialistic our society is.
i'm going to downgrade. i want to get a crappy car. i want to spend time in the garage and fix it. i want to get such a crappy car that i'll be grateful and happy to have JUST a CAR not a NICE CAR. i don't want to be lusting over cars that i constantly compare to my v6. this way, i can also pay off my debts and be even happier when i get my new Aston Martin V12 Vanquish. just kidding.

i've been trying to sell it the past week, but because of the slowing economy, nobody is willing to sell. i already reduced my price by 2000 dollars...

this entry is making no sense. it's been a while.

why is it that most of the asian churches only support and reach out to asian communities? what about our fellow African brothers and sisters that are dying from discrimination and disease in Africa?

my life really hasn't been interesting lately and i haven't really had any realizations that i can remember. i know i have had a few, but i never write those things down. and especially when i don't have a computer at home, it's even harder to update my webpage. i don't think a single person has really visited my new site for a long time. maybe i'll post some really bad words or bad thoughts i had about people to see if i really do have any traffic. maybe i'll say i have a girlfriend.

maybe i'll share about something that i'm trying to improve in my life. i used to think that it wasn't really an improvement, but i think i need more of it. i think i need to care less about things. in a way, it makes me a freak where i just care too much about things, namely other people, that it really hinders me from being 'normal.' i still believe that looking out for others before yourself is the way to go, but looking out ONLY for others is not. that used to be my problem, and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past. a part of me still thinks it's a good thing... to deny oneself. but i just take it to an extreme.

with the passing of each day as a new man, sad realities come down to settle and make their permanent mark in the sand of my life. the school life is missed because of its freedom and constant socializing atmosphere. but i feel that the life of a college graduate fares better - especially when working in an environment that is very laid back and decorated with peers that sustain the exuberance of youthfulness. my life is starting to settledown somewhat and i feel it is time to get over my horrid experiences from years past, and start living a somewhat normal life - whatever 'normal' may turn out to be. who knows, maybe the dramatic lifestyle is the consistent yet shocking norm for me. maybe i just need to learn how to stay away from trouble.

working in a molecular biology lab creating recombinant DNA does seem like quite the daunting task - yet it really isn't. i would describe my job as a white-collar assembly worker... and although the knowledge of the complicated pathways and mechanisms of the cell would be helpful in this job, it really isn't necessary. all one has to do is just follow directions. do not misconstrue my words when i say my job is not challenging because it certainly is - but it just does not take a college graduate to do it.

to describe how i perform in my job, let me describe this analogy. if anyone knows me at all, then they know how i am nefarious with my cooking and would cause a clear and present danger to those around me. all cooking really is is waiting, adding of ingredients, and some sort of coordination. it is the same with research. you add the different compounds, structures, wait, incubate, all concerted with some sort of coordination (i.e. not spilling flammable/carcinogenic chemicals all over the lab and yourself). so i hope it is clear how successful i am in wasting precious company money and time. so yeah, not too good... not too good.

hmm... not a very deep entry.