okay, more proof that this is the year of change. now TWO of my high school friends are engaged. and not to each other.

my old company declared bankruptcy today. i don't know how sad i am about it, but i can definitely chalk it up to experience. i went to a party on saturday nite that for ex-Deltagen people, and i heard quite a few interesting stories about the ongoings of the company during its last days... i wish i can divluge them online, but i do not think i should. people were not as angry as i expected, besides the couple that i expected to be (the chinese ones of course). the party was called the "deltagen bankruptcy booze binge," where everyone brought really cheap beer and drank as much as they could. while it was the first time i drank 5 different brands of beer in one night, it was also the first time i felt a little sad about leaving the bay area (btw, you know what really annoys me? how i can drink 7 beers and not even get a buzz going... i mean, what a waste... all those calories for nothing...) i guess i just came to realize that i probably won't be seeing most of these people ever again. with the people i usually hang out with, mostly high school friends, i've been with them all my life and we just know that we will always be seeing each other no matter what parts of the country we are in. but with people you are not as close with, it's different i guess. so it's not like i was really really sad, but just a little sad. but again, all these things happening just confirms and perpetually re-confirms my dogma: 2003 is the year of change.

last friday, i was at work till 130 AM with my manager. with the amount of hours i have been working, i really felt like i was living the life of a consultant or i-banker even. for goodness sakes, i was woken up by my work calling my cell phone saturday morning. i almost had to come into work on saturday, but thankfully, they figured out the problem without me.

on saturday, there was a mini-wwp reunion. kathie, jason, steve and i all went to ann hsueh's apartment where we just caught up with everyone and talked. everyone is still the same - and kathie ran home because she didnt' want to drive in the dark. jason said that was the "lamest excuse he has ever heard" and you know, i'd have to agree with him. yet, she wasn't making excuses - she just has a slight case of OCD. people with OCD tend to be really smart, and kathie is no exception - she's in stanford med. afterwards, we played monopoly and jason tried to implement the strategies he just learned by reading the book, "rich dad poor dad" which basically teaches that buying property is the fastest way to become wealthy. #1 new york times bestseller. ironically, he was the first one to lose. he even had hotels on every single propery on one side of the board (the cheap side). but all it took was for him to land on my ventnor ave. with 2 houses that slaughtered him - and the rest of the opponents.

i think that moths are the 2nd most evil insect next to spiders (i know spiders aren't technically insects, but you know what i mean). when i was a kid, i used to play with them all the time. catching them and holding them by their wings, etc. i started to get scared of them after my dad told me this urban legend that when a moth's eye touches your eye, you go blind. however, i think the breaking point for me was when i was trying to kill a moth in my room and it started attacking me. moths do that... while most bugs try to run away, moths actually try to attack you - which can be quite scary considering that you have this pre-conceived notion that if it somehow manages to touch your eye you go blind. in any case, this moth would not give up and kept attacking me. i kept trying to swat it away. at one point, it even flew into my boxers (yes, i sleep in boxers sometimes when it's hot). so i grabbed my tennis racquet and started swinging at it and basically had a duel with a freaking moth. it has some pretty good reaction times, but the agility and speed of my racquet handling was too much for that damn moth. i finally managed to kill it but my nerves were definitely shot.

the point is, our huevos are the biggest when we are only little kids.

you think you're alone in your section of the office so you let out a nice belch. then you see the top of your boss' head walking right past your cubicle as you're burping.

wow... this guy realllllly wanted his porn. sexual addiction, i'd say.

"HONEY. Do NOT mess with me while I'm downloading porn - especially in front of the kids. so stop making a scene while I enjoy this one right on my computer screen."

ok i cared. couldn't sleep. just kinda put my head down on my pillow.

pulled off an all niter last nite for work. well, not a real all niter... but i fell asleep in my cube around 5 am and woke up 20 minutes ago (8 am). gonna sleep some more. at this moment, i don't care if people see me or not.

starting to have issues with people. i think my biggest pet peeve is people who say they will do one thing and never do it. also, i hate it when people always try to "cheap" their way out of something, even though they are supposed to do it.

i was watching snoop dogg on MTV last nite. man, that guy is so funny and the way he talks. the wizzle he tizzles is off the hizzle my nizzle. but he says it with all these inflections in his voice... crescendos, tempo increases... he's got it all. it's great.

also, i was looking up asianavenue.com because my friend wanted me to see his site. so i remembered that i have one too, and that pj and i made one as a joke... i guess parodying the KeWl AZn Thang To Do. this is what i wrote on my page:

Whaazup Yo!
This page is hella old, but i figured it`s time to get my NAME OUT THERE
so if y`all wanna hang and you`re in the Bay Area, give me a holla holla!
Latez,
Bork


and what pj wrote in my guestbook:
hey bork. just wanted to check out ur page. it`s pretty kewlios. sign my guestbook, trick!

i guess pj and i get our laughs in the oddest of ways.

speaking of stupid asian websites, there is a new one called "friendster" where everyone is connected by 4 degrees. i'm even connected to francine dee, the rice-rocket super model by 4 degrees. in any case, pj and i like messing around on that one as well. i've been trying to hook him up on dates with girls that are in cleveland (none of them has responded), pj is going to write his own testimonial, and i messaged every "Andrew Chang" and "Andy Chang" and told them to add me as a "Friend." I told them that I am trying to unite all Andy Chang's on the internet. One of them actually bought it and added me to his friend list.

DELTAGEN, INC. R.I.P.

current prie: 0.27 down: -0.29 / -51.79%
Volume: 12,288,730 (Avg: 1,266,000)

wow... an average of 1.2 million and today it's 12.2 million shares...

so yesterday, i had my first real "business mooching" experience at the SF MOMA. the motorola party was filled with a variety of people and not just programming nerds. there was a group that was hired to be the "party goers" of the group. they wore these ultra-trendy clothes, had motorola gear on, and tried to mingle with everyone and get them to play with the free rubik's cubes they were handing out and dance with people. there were also the high-ranked people there, who you could just tell who they were by their poise and the way they talked. and of course, there were programmers. the food was excellent. there were asparagus wrapped in spanish ham, dim sum, fried potstickers, pad thai, roasted pork, and all this other french food. they also had desserts, including creme brulee, brownies, little cheesecakes cut in the shape of crescents, and this really really awesome chocolate cake that was in the shape of a flower. the chef put on warm chocolate sauce, guava sauce, and creme if you wanted it as well. drinks were all free (wine, beer, liquor), coat check... it was really fancy i must say.

so that was the fun part.

the hard part was trying to talk to all these people you don't know and trying to "network." i did manage to get some contacts... and no, no girls. the promoter girls were pretty good looking (duh), but that was about it. the hardest thing when you are trynig to network is trying to talk to someone and force a conversation when you really have nothing in common. you find yourself in a lot of awkward silences... and really, it's just not easy... but i think with a lot of practice, i could get used to talking to just random strangers. i'm used to just being the quiet one and just hanging out by myself, which i like to do. but i was constantly looking around, looking at people's nametags and seeing if we had some sort of connection with his or her company. if not, we just pretended we didn't see each other. everyone else was doing the same, pretty much walking around and trying to see if you were worth talking to. such is the life i will have to lead in the future, and honestly, it wasn't that bad. just not easy. it is a problem i have always had since i was a kid... talking to people i don't know. to be honest, i started ordering things at restaurants for myself when i was later in high school. until then, i always asked my parents to ask the waiter for more water or soda. it was until my dad started yelling at me that i should learn how to speak up that i started asking stuff for myself. pretty pathetic how shy i was back then. i guess what really helped me to speak up at restaurants was when i started going out with friends or dates. but still to this day, i have problems speaking up. i'll rarely talk in class or meetings... like ultra rare. when i ask a waiter for more water, they never hear me because i never speak loud enough.
so now, i'm choosing a career where you are required to be outgoing and extroverted, so i guess this will definitely help my social skills. it just really feels uncomfortable for me, but i'm really hoping that will change.

The laptop we get for business school:

ThinkPad T40

P 4 - 1.5GHz
512MB RAM
40GB 5400rpm HDD
14.1 XGA(1024x768) TFT LCD
32MB ATI Radeon 7500
16x10x24x/8x CD-RW/DVD (slim)
Modem(CDC)
Ethernet(LOM)
Intel 802.11b Wireless(MPCI)
Secure Chip(TCPA)
6 cell battery
WinXP Pro

I'm gonna have to change a few things like the HDD (40GB to 60GB 7200) and video card (64 MB video card and hopefully a Ti) but... WOOHOO!!!!!!!!

this week, there is a very big conference that is going on. it's called JavaOne, and it is the equivalent to the MacWorld Expo for Macs, E3 for video games, the Geneva Auto Show for cars... you get the picture. so anyways, motorola is throwing a big invite-only party tonite and i get to go because we work with the company! woohoo!!! also, it's going to be held at the SF MOMA!!!! not that i care too much about art since i'm so simple minded (right grace and lillian?), but still, it's gonna be fun. also, the crowd is going to be pretty much programming nerds - who i can very well relate to easily of course. i told grace that i'm gonna try to hit on the nerd-girls.

i got the apartment!!! i'm in!!!

just came back from a trip to north carolina. wow. north carolina is awesome. people there are so friendly, it just makes me in a good mood. i can't believe how nice people are in the South... Southern hospitality really is true. it's a great thing because when everyone is nice to you, you just feel like "paying it forward" and are nice to everyone else. everyone is happy. even kids who you think are punks by california standards... they were so nice it was unbelievable.

also, everyone that is around my age is in great shape. girls and guys alike. i felt like i was walking through an abercrombie catalog. freaking insane how fat i felt when i was around these people.

wake forest is also a really pretty campus. secluded, a lot of trees and open fields, a really nice chapel, and of course, the people are nice. the business school is huge, and it only houses 200 mba students. we even get our own study rooms (not cubicles, but rooms)! no more competing for space in the main stacks of Doe.

overall, i'm really excited about going to wake forest. oh, and i definitely got some looks since i was asian... or maybe it was cuz i was fat. but i wasn't the only asian there... but i probably saw a total of 7 asians in the whole town. one asian guy saw me and gave me "the nod," as in, "hey, fellow asian. we outta stick together." i was like, "cool, asian guy. whatever."

i would post pictures... but... i'm a freaking idiot and deleted them all by mistake on the plane ride back. i was so upset at myself since i was taking some really great pictures of the clouds through my plane window. incredibly upset.

the apartment i applied to live in features:

- 2 private lakes that are stocked with fish.
- an island on one of the lakes that we can have cook-outs, or just hang out
- beach volleyball pit
- lighted tennis court in the woods
- hiking trails
- 24 hour pool
- fitness center
- clubhouse
- guaranteed maintenance service or we don't pay rent
- less than one mile from campus

and all this plus my own 1 bdrm apartment, i will pay:

$520. deposit? 100 bucks.

north carolina is amazing.

other quick notes:
- Krispy Kreme headquarters are in winston-salem!!!!
- not to mention the HQ of RJ Reynolds and Co...(ever hear of winston cigarettes? salem cigarettes?)... which makes winston-salem a heavy smoking town. insane amount of smokers.

so i get some pretty interesting junk mail... which i'm sure we all do. for some reason, i love reading the subject lines cuz they really crack me up...some people have really creative minds in describing how a penile enlargement can improve sex. i almost think there is an underground contest to see who can come up with the funniest subject lines. anyways, i got a few today from "johnny" and the subject line read, "bring back, your smileAYGGER," "bring back, your smileVXAYCM," and "bring back, your smileVGDMQKX."

i guess i imagined some suave sales guy named Johnny trying to sell me his product...

"Hi! I'm Johnnnnnny! Your salesguy!!!"
"Hi...."
"Bring back.... your smileVXAYCM"

and suddenly his mouth foams and i slam the door on him.

at safeway yesterday, i was in my car about to get out. i see a woman finishing packing her groceries into her car a few spaces down (there were no other cars between us). a few seconds later, i hear a loud THUD. her grocery cart had hit my car. i see the woman from inside the car looking at me for a little while, probably wondering what she should do, and then she drives off. i get out of my car and she's already gone. vroom. i look at where the cart hit my car, and sure enough, there is a dent. if i didn't have a car i don't care about so much, i would have been irate. i plan on keeping this cheap car forever so it's not like i need to keep it in pristine condition to resell it either. but if it was a car that i really wanted... like a GTI or BMW... man... i would have been so pissed.

so here is the quiz of the day: what is this woman's race (ethnicity)?

yep. padres lost.

This has got to be the saddest game ever. The Detroit Tigers vs. the San Diego Padres. My Pads have been nothing but failure and now officially enthrone the last ranking of ESPN's power alley. The two worst teams in baseball tonite... and the Tigers will probably win.

Do you ever just sit there and think? like literally, sit, stare at nothing, and just think. i never do that, although sometimes i wish i do. most of the times when you find me, check that, 100% of the time you find me sitting and staring at nothing, it's because i'm in one of my many daydreams. i daydream at least 10 times a day. so here's a scene where you should be familiar with: in "good will hunting" when matt damon just sits staring out the window of the subway then cuts to him just staring at a lightbulb (this is towards the end of the movie after he cries in robin williams arms.... "it's not your fault."). so yeah, do people really do that? just sit there and think? actually, i'm sure people do. the normal ones at least.

another note, i find it so hard to pay attention to anything. during church, the sermon seemed pretty good, but i had no idea what it was about. my mind would wander so often that i could not pay attention at all... which really scares me considering i am gonig to start school soon again.