aileen and i had one of our rare 'intellectual' conversations last week on why so many "dumb" people are successful and why so many smart people aren't successful (as measured by money/status only).
her theory was that some people are so smart that they rarely ever had to try to do anything growing up in school and thus, it causes them to be lazy later in life. for instance, an extremely smart kid rarely ever has to study to do well in school. the parents and peers only encourage whatever the kid is doing, and this behavior is not only reinforced but it is encouraged. the kid learns that he has to do nothing and he will be successful. in other words, he has no will and no drive to put any effort into anything, and he pays for it when thrown out into the real world. he ends up not realizing his full potential (even if he knows how much potential there is). he is ill-equipped to handle his job, relationships, etc. we all know someone like that who we thought for sure was going to be successful in high school or college, but ends up struggling just to find a place to live. and what ends up happening? their bosses are the kids who didn't go to as prestigious universities or in the advanced math classes or even struggled in school. aileen said that some people were 'cursed' for being too smart.
my theory was not because they were too smart, it was because the parenting was lacking. we all know that, aside from the chance opportunities that are given to us as a result of our environment - a la Gladwell's Outliers - it really comes down to the drive or hard work that needs to be put in to be successful at anything. where does this drive come from? i believe it comes from the home. kids with deadbeat parents rarely push themselves harder because that is what they learn, regardless of how smart or dumb the kids may be. on the flip side, kids with very successful parents also may rarely push themselves because they never want their kids to struggle, as the parents may have had to growing up. both of these groups of kids are taught that if something is too hard, then it's just not worth doing. i believe it is the parents' job to teach their kids discipline, and through discipline, the kids learn how to apply themselves regardless of intelligence. through discipline, they know that nothing in life is free and they have to work for it. those are the kids that end up being "successful." the best example i could think of was George W. Bush. if he could become president, then it's obvious that the intelligence wasn't a prerequisite, it was the drive that he had (regardless of whether he was qualified for the job). extreme example, but you get my point. the presence or lack of drive, hard-work ethic, discipline, whatever - comes from the home, not because of one's intelligence.
after our conversaion, as almost always happens when we have these types of talks, aileen proceeded to get mad at me because i somehow always apply it to her life.
