i had my first 'pampering' experience this week. i went to a spa, and had a swedish massage. quite the experience. it went something like this:

i check-in, and they gave me a robe to change into. keep in mind, i have no idea what to bring, wear, anything. i was planning on changing into my bathing suit, which i brought in a plastic bag. someone escorts me into the men's locker room, and assigns me a locker, and tells me to wait in the whirlpool and they will come to get me when it is time (it's a personal whirlpool). so what do i do now? do i change into my bathing suit? i look around to see if there are any other men, and see what they are doing... in a way, i'm looking for naked men. i look for men in robes, who happen to be naked. so yes, i see a guy, in a robe... naked? i wait until he takes it off. yes... bam. definitely naked. so i think to myself... 'crap. what do i do now.' another guy comes in, naked, carrying a robe. nobody seems to care. 'well,' i think to myself, 'i guess that's what you're supposed to do.' but i keep it on anyway.

i head to the whirlpool (it's a personal whirlpool... awesome stuff), start the water, and wait for it to fill up. another man was also filling up his whirlpool. he was also in his bathing suit. 'good, so it's okay.' then his fills up. BAM! he takes it off, sits in the whirlpool, and relaxes. 'great. so i guess we're supposed to take off our bathing suits in the whirlpool.' many thoughts race through my head... were other people naked in the whirlpool? does this guy know what he's doing? are people supposed to be naked during massages? the end thought is this: 'when in rome.'

so when my pool is done, i get nervous, and walk around some more to see if there are other nekked men. yep, another guy in a robe just entered the sauna with nothing but a towel. he's young too, so it must be okay.

so fine, i give in, and take off my bathing suit and get in the whirlpool as fast as i can. but... i completely forget that the water is steaming hot, and i nearly burn my manhood off. i jump out of the pool, and just sit for a little bit. my legs are closed, but then it just looks wrong when a guys legs are closed and he's sitting naked, so i open them a little. then i notice that i forget to turn on the bubbles. i play with the buttons (all two of them) for a reallllly long time just to waste time. the other guy notices that i have jets but he doesn't. he tries to press the buttons on his whirlpool and nothing happens. i pray that he won't ask me how i did it. but sometimes, God doesn't answer prayers. the naked man comes to me, asks if i can help turn on the jets. i say 'okay' and go to his pool, naked, and try to turn it on. i forgot to mention that he wore glasses (as do i), and neither of us put them on - which is a good thing i guess. so now there are two naked guys, who are just leaned over. that could have been a very bad time for someone to enter the room, since the first he would see would be two bright shining moons. what makes it worse is that he's right, the buttons don't work, so we stand there for a little while. i notice that there is a switch on the wall, so i flip it, press the button, then it works. thank God.

so we both start bubbling in the whirlpool, and as relaxing as it is, it's just too awkward. i get up and leave, and sit in the locker room. just then, the person comes in, calls my name, introduces me to the masseuse (sp?), then lead to a very dark room lit only by candles.

this is getting too long, i'll post more later.