steve you are absolutely correct. when you help other people just for self-gratification, you really aren't being nice because your motives are wrong. to be selfless means to do things purely for other people. that's why it's so hard sometimes in relationships, because we forget about that aspect. we're always in the mentality where we get so pissed off because we did so much for so-and-so and they don't ever "pay you back." that will always mess up relationships, and trust me, i have had to learn the hard way. so as wayne quoted a zen master, i'll quote my master, which i am sure everyone has heard before...

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13


i know this passage is WAY overdone, but you really have to look at every word of every sentence... and then you realize that it's almost impossible to follow this all the time. so just makes you think...

okay long boring blog... i actually wrote about christianity today. pj must be shocked.