at least my padres are in the books for something:

Not a hit with the Cubs
CHICAGO -- Padres right-hander Brian Lawrence tied a major league record by hitting three Cubs in the fourth inning.

With Alex Gonzalez on first and no outs in the fourth, Lawrence hit Sammy Sosa on the backside. Two batters later, Lawrence lost control again, hitting Hee Seop Choi in the lower back. Fans booed, and Padres pitching coach Greg Booker went to the mound. After a long at-bat by Corey Patterson resulted in an RBI fielder's choice, Lawrence hit Mark Bellhorn.

It was the 19th time a pitcher had hit three batters in one inning, and the first since Anaheim's Steve Sparks on May 22, 1999.

But it was clear Lawrence wasn't hitting anyone intentionally. He appeared to be bothered by the cold -- gametime temperature was only 38 degrees -- and was blowing on his hands after every pitch.
-- Associated Press