in my previous entry, i wrote i would write more on my comebacks. note that this is a very vague generality.

so here's my schema:

1) male or female?
if female, proceed to 3)
if male, proceed to 2)

2) close enough to make fun of their mom or girlfriend or sister?
if yes, proceed to make fun of their mom.
if no, make fun of their sports team or other attributes in a non-personal way, or just laugh it off.

3) reply with: YOU _________ [insert whatever they just called you here, regardless of grammar].

(i actually made a whole diagram of this, but for some reason, it wouldn't let me save).

let's have some examples:

girl: geez andy, you always drag your feet like a donkey.
me: YOU drag your feet like a donkey!
girl: no i don't.
me: okay.

girl: andy! shut up!
me: YOU shut up!

girl: you're such a loser.
me: YOU loser!

close guy friend: fat boy.
me: but your mom(or girlfriend or sister) just told me last night she likes me that way.

not so close guy friend: dude, you're such a screw up.
me: thanks (or haha! or sarcastic laugh)

close guy friend: dude, you're such a screw up.
me: ********************************** (censored)

how weird... all those insults i made of myself are really insecurities i have of myself in real life...the subconscious has spoken.