i wonder what it's like to write when you are really pissed off. do words just come flying out more from you heart than your head? writing with emotion and writing with no emotion i think produces a very different, and maybe at times bizzare, twist on a person's life on the inside. right now - i am pissed.

i just spent the past 1/2 hour writing a very long thought about my dinner with grace and an old small group leader, and i think i was quite pleased with it. so after i was done writing my thoughts, i pressed the wrong button and i was taken to the blogger.com home page instead of pressing the "post & publish" button. i quickly pressed 'back' on the browser and everything vanished. one big white space. in a way, what the end of the world might look like if everything was destroyed... well... except for light. so now i am pissed. it was probably God's Will that what i wrote was never posted, but still... a;lkdfjaljadfjalfja;fl;kjfd;lkfja;lkfjal;dsfkja;lfdjalfjal;dkfja

the feeling of putting a lot of effort into one thing only to see it miserably fail is so common to me now, i'm surprised that i still get upset.

anyways, my current goal for my blog is to have the alacrity to write in this every day. as i stated before in my now defunct entry, it's very inspiring to read what other people write and for them to keep it up every day. i hope that i can one day achieve and sustain their quality of writing.

man i'm so pissed.