cnn.com just posted a story about a study that concluded that "spanking is a no-no." (http://www.cnn.com/2002/HEALTH/parenting/06/25/spanking.study.ap/index.html) it's interesting on many different levels because first of all, i abhor the phrase "no-no." i don't even like it being used in baseball. my father always used the phrase to describe everything in tennis. "you're moving your arm too much - that's a no-no." "your toss is off - that's a no-no." "you're jerking your head again - that's a no-no" he'd even shake his index finger left to right in conjunction with shaking his head. it got to the point where we had an argument about it where i told him that nobody uses that phrase anymore and that it's annoying and that he simply says it too much. that night on the news, i remember the news anchor describing something as a no-no. my dad immediately pointed to the tv screen and said "see! they even say it on tv!" it was the finishing blow. TKO, my dad.
secondly, i am a child raised by spanking all the way till high school. i must say there definitely are different types of spanking that can be done to a child from a parent. i can only remember three distinct times that left a mark (emotional mark, i should add) on my life. the first was when i lied to my mom, probably around 5 years old since it was in san diego. she got the clothes hangar and hit the bottom of my feet. i really don't remember it hurting, but more of a shock value i guess. the second time was with my dad, when i lied to him about using his credit card. that was probably the most scarring since it was with so emotional ... my dad couldn't believe that his son would lie to him and he almost cried right in front of me. it makes me feel weird just thinking about it right now. the third time was when i stepped on a textbook while walking on it - not kicking it, not using it as a stepping stool, just innocently walked on it - and SLAP right in the face by my mom. she told me never ever to step on a book because it's so disrespectful.
ever since then, i am shocked when people step on books and have never done it since. i will not tolerate lying, and will also stress to my kids that no matter how bad it is - never to lie. i guess it is natural for kids to lie and i will expect it, but i guess big things like breaking the law or stealing from someone or playing hookie or cheating... i'll probably discipline them.

so this brings up the next question. HOW will i discipline them? the study shows that spanking, while bringing "quick compliance with parental demands" will have larger and greater negative effects in the long-run. will i spank my kids? honestly, i can't imagine hitting my kids, but i'm sure most parents are that way. i really hope that it will be a last resort. i've been spanked, my sister has been spanked and i think we've turned out fine. okay, exaggeration - my sister has turned out fine. aileen has never been spanked in her life, and she has also turned out well.

so for conclusions...
1) it all depends on the parents and their relationship with their kids
2) why the hell am i thinking about parenting