a few scenarios:

[scene 1 - at a fancy restaurant in Monterey Bay]
jason [referring to someone he just started dating]: how do i get her to pay for at least one meal or something really small? i'm paying for everything and she's not even offering to pay! i just feel used. if she paid, i'd feel a little better... it's just the principle.
aileen: does she say thank you?
jason: she has said thank you every single time, but has never offered to pay. how do you get her to pay?
aileen: maybe you should just ask her before you go anywhere how much money to bring, or if the price is okay. that way she'll get the hint.
jason: yeah, i already thought of that. i think i'm going to do that for this weekend.
andy: well, if you're going to pay for movie tickets, just let her go first. it's like you're being a gentleman by letting her go first, at the same time saying you're cheap.
aileen and jason: nooo, that definitely won't work.
andy: it's worked on you before aileen.
aileen: yeah, i know. it was cheap. i noticed. but i only paid because you pay too often. it wasn't very 'gentlemanly' of you.
andy: oh.
jason: haha! loser!
aileen: but seriously, i really want to pay more. you really pay too often for me.

[waiter brings check]

aileen: umm... i don't have any money on me right now.
andy: okay, i guess i'm paying for you.


[scene 2 - walking out of the restaurant]

andy: didn't you want cotton candy aileen?
aileen: yes! let's go get some!!!
andy: j, do you want any?
jason: no it's cool, but i'll come with you guys.

[at the store]

cashier: can i help you?
aileen: how much does the cotton candy cost?
cashier: um, $1.95.
aileen: okay, can i have one then?
cashier: okay, here you go.

[awkward silence prolongs as the cashier is just waiting to get paid by the 3 stooges]

cashier: umm... can i help you with something else?
andy: pay her aileen!
aileen: I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!
jason: oh my gosh, you are so stupid andy.
andy: oh... i guess i'm paying again then, eh?
cashier (to herself): what a bunch of retards.

[scene 3 - at Kinko's]
cashier: hi, how can i help you?
andy: hi, okay, i have a few things. first, i would like to pick up a fax.
cashier: okay, here you go.
andy: okay. now i would like to send this fax somewhere else. and i have another fax to send.
cashier: okay, just fill out the information.
andy: here ya go... already filled out.

[cashier goes to fax machine, sends one fax, then comes back. meanwhile, the line starts building up.]

cashier: uhh, sir, you forgot to put the fax number on the second fax.
andy: oh yeah... duh... sorry about that. i need to call my dad really quick.

[andy calls home using his cell phone]

andy: dad! what's your cell number?
dad: 609-555-0815.
andy: really? you sure it's 555? i don't believe you... that really doesn't sound right... let me talk to celene.
dad: you dont' believe me? what takes you so long to call me back anyways? you know what time i called you?!
andy: dad, i was at work. i was going to call, but celene told me online that you weren't home so i just waited.
dad: from now on, family orders, you call back asap when i call you. okay?
[cashier clears throat]
andy: dad, i gotta go. let me talk to celene.
dad: i said 'OKAY?!'
andy: okay okay! let me talk to celene!!!!
celene: hey.
andy: what's the fax number?
celene: 609-555-0815.
andy: oh, it is? man.... i completely forgot.
dad: andy. how's the car?
andy: dad i really have to go. the guy is like waiting for me.
dad: but how is it?
[cashier clears throat again]
andy: it's no big deal. i have to go.
dad: no big deal?!? no big deal?!?!?!?!
andy: okay okay okay. it's really great and i'm really grateful.
dad: why you little...
andy: DAD. I HAVE TO GO NOW.
dad: okay, bye.

andy: sorry about that...
cashier: okay, so this is all you have to fax?
andy: yep. oh wait! i forgot to include this page.

[cashier gets extremely impatient]

cashier: okay sir. just be a moment.

[cashier helps out some disgruntled customers... mostly upset about the fact that someone is talking on the cell phone in line. andy notices the fax isn't going through... assumes that someone is using the line and calls again.]

andy: dad, is someone online?
dad: umm... no... but i'm getting the faxes.
andy: okay.
dad: hey, this is not what i needed.
andy: dad, this is what you asked for.
dad: but this is NOT what i needed. i didn't need this.
andy: what do you want me to do then? this is it. this is EXACTLY what you asked for.
cashier: okay sir, you're all set. received 3 pages, sent 5. that will be 12 dollars.
dad: and what is this other form?! i never asked for this either!!!!
andy: i just sent that to help you dad. it had some information that maybe you might like.
[cashier - extremely upset - mutters some unmentionable cuss words to himself. andy hands him credit card]
dad: BUT I NEVER ASKED FOR IT. WHY DID YOU SEND ME SOMETHING I DIDN'T ASK FOR.
andy: look. i saw it. i'm trying to HELP you. i just paid money so i can try to help you. it's just some information concerning my tax forms. i have to go dad. i'm at the cashier. i have to go. he's waiting-
dad: you don't understand me andrew. I NEVER ASKED FOR IT.
[cashier charges andy for faxing cover sheets and mutters: "we charge for everything here." andy notices, but feels really bad about creating such a commotion so just pays for it anyways.]
andy: DAD. i have to go. NOW.
dad: do you get what i'm saying? why did you send me something i didn't ask for?!
andy (screams into phone... at kinko's): I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP. OKAY? IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, THEN FINE. I DON'T CARE. I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP. dad! i have to go now. dad! dad! stop talking! dad! i have to go!
dad: okay okay!... bye.
andy: bye.
cashier: okay, sign here please.
andy: i'm really sorry about that....

[andy signs and leaves. he feels the evil eyes of the customers and workers at kinkos as he walks out. the line has grown almost to the door.]