before havoc brews and boils over, this is going to explain why kcpc is a church that i have loved so much. i need to write this down.

despite all of the negativity and problems with my old church, let me make it clear that ALL CHURCHES HAVE PROBLEMS. it just depends what the individual is looking for - and for me, kcpc just wasn't the place. but what kept me at kcpc was the teaching and strong belief. there has been no other time in my life where i have grown spiritually so fast, enabling for me to have a tangible and strong and secure relationship with God. most of it has to do with my small group leader my freshman year, who taught me so many important lessons in life. he was very bothered that i didn't really have any friends, and always encouraged me to go out with them. i guess he never understood it just wasn't easy for me.
the friends that i have made and trips and adventures i have made are also genuine, although limited. although i did not particularly like the personalities of my congregation, i honestly have to say that i still love them as my own. no other group has hurt me so deep, at the same time, encouraged me as deep. my best college memories come from the brothers and sisters that i met at kcpc. when it is all down to business, nobody - and i mean nobody - treats you poorly. it's just that those times are rare for me. for everyone else, as long as they fit in, it's the best place that anyone can be in.
the pastors truly care for you, which is a rare and awesome quality in today's churches. nobody will ever understand how good the pastors have treated me and took care of me during my times of need. during one of the darkest times of my life, the pastors were constantly there for me like no other friend has. it was a time of complete darkness - my life was radically changing in an unfavorable way, my closest friends left me while they knew what i was going through, and other terrible things that just cannot be mentioned. it wasn't my friends that helped me - it was the pastors. they showed me what a true shephard is, they showed me what true christian love is, they showed me how to get hope from Him who creates it. i am so eternally grateful.

so despite all of the negative qualities of kcpc, i do not hate the church at all. i love it with my dear heart - it is just a place where i cannot stay.

(*someone read my website a while back, and sent me a sociology paper that i really want to post up. it concerns the role of ficb and korean society... very interesting perspective of ficb from a non-xian point of view... and really highlights some things that troubled me.*)