a visitation to my life once again.

forgive me for not writing in my journal for quite the long time, and there have been several things that have been going on. Once again, i have hit a low point - although this is not nearly as bad as the previous one. i have been doing a lot of writing and soul searching - but in the form of cover letters.
i lost my job last friday, and so the main reason why i came back to the west coast has disintegrated. i have sent several several resumes (exceeding 70) and to my inherent chagrin, have received a grand total of nil interviews. but of course, it has only been a few days, but this moratorium is simply not the best time of my life.
my parents have told me to come back home if this job does not fall through since it wasn't looking good in the first place, that i should come back home and get certification for computer programming and a masters. i really do not want to do that, so i have been desperately seeking a job the past week so i can finally leave the ambience of school and just live my life.
what i learned from all of this is that i HAD been dependent on my job, and finding security through it after all this time. In it's song "affirmation" by Savage Garden, they write: you don't know what you have until you say good bye. God has certainly been faithful despite anything because He is simply telling me that i don't need anything, or never have needed anything. just Him.
when will i ever learn?

on another note, i need to pray for those missionaries that are out in the field right now. we all need to.

i just finished reading Jim Cymbala's "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire" and has made me realize what a huge difference prayer from a contrite spirit and heart can make.