when i was on the plane, and actually awake, i looked out of my miniscule window that allowed me let me know that i was escaping the world, and zooming out of the ground acting as a reverse microscope. so here's a mysterious thought that i am still unable to decrypt. sometimes God acts as the enemy that purposely sends us encrypted messages to confuse and sabatoge our own will. the latest scrambled message i got was an observation i had as the jet took off. as i looked out the window, the sun was casting a shadow of the plane onto the ground. i was staring at it because i had never seen the shadow of the plane before. the shadow resembled a miniature version of the plane. as the plane started to increase its speed and lift off, the shadow started to become detatched with the plane. and as our elevation increased, the shadow started to distance itself more and inversely shrink. then suddenly, the shadow became small so that it just "merged" with the city blocks and highways. it grew farther away, smaller, and eventually just became lost in the thick mix.

okay, just try this right now since i feel that i'm confusing people. (i know i shouldn't be catering to the readers, but i don't want anyone thinking i'm THAT nutty). put your hand on a desk. now look at its shadow. it's almost touching your hand. lift it off the desk slowly, and the shadow separates and starts to move farther away from your hand. now imagine the shadow shrinking. that's what i saw, but on a much more grandiose scale... from an AIRPLANE.

so as i was watching, i just smiled. and it automatically switched on my "ponderance" mood and i have not been able to figure out why it amuses me so deftly. does it reveal my relationship with God? how we were once joined with him, but due to sin have become "lost" in the "world?" or does it inspire me to photograph it? or does it inspire me for poetry? actually, my first instinct was to write poetry on that site... but i need to figure out what it means to me at first. the point is that it simply inspires me. possible one of those "God is mysterious" things where we can just look back and stare in eternal awe and infinite admiration.

who knows, not me... not yet.


so i have another ambitious plan that i have been thinking about for quite a number of years. my fantasy life would be to write for a sitcom or be a screenwriter. but i think i'll start off writing a novel. people have told me independently that my life is one big soap opera. honestly, i think i just like writing - even if i'm not good at it. but i was thinking about what i should title it. i was thinking something along the lines of "one hit novel" or "a life: revisited" or "an ordinary one among many" since i only plan on writing one book. maybe i should just gather all the thoughts i ever typed and compile it into one book. saves me a lot of time that way.